It has been two months since I last wrote on my blog. Never got any time to discuss things with myself. I had some relatives visiting and staying with us all this while. The usual routine was a mess and the status at home was of total chaos. The hell broke loose when Adi’s school announced summer vacation. The entire home turned into a play area with toys and baby books scattered all over the place. The dining table was turned into an airport and the area underneath into the cockpit. The elder one was pilot at all times flying us from one country to another while the younger one played the host bringing us imaginary juices and cakes and all sort of things which we would fancy to eat.The sleeping patterns of kids went haywire and nights were days till 1 am. In my pursuit of some time for “myself” I would remain up for some more time after that. The whole world was topsy- turvy.Oh, how much I wanted a corner in my big, spacious, four rooms house (it is a luxury to have such a house by Dubai standards) where I can just sit peacefully without any form of movement within audible range.
My relatives have left and it is too silent now. Even while Adi’s vacations are still on and both the kids still play and fight together, the spirit has slacked a bit. The airport was closed for two days in memory of the passengers who ditched them and went back to India instead of taking next flight to Kathmandu with Adi. The same hide and seek spots are no longer that attractive. When I came back from some grocery shopping, my 2 years old asked, “where is mausi?” hoping I have brought her back. He was disappointed..
It is hard to be away from family..so far..the short periods of connection gives an insight into what all are we missing on that account. I go to know a whole new aspect of my own kids and their behaviour. Living in a multicultural, multinational environment is giving them a headstart and a broadened horizon but there is a home based nourishment which comes from the extended family. I am now in search of ways to bring that in their daily diet…
Wednesday, 16 July 2008
Wednesday, 21 May 2008
Motherhood
Motherhood, a concept which intrigued me during most of my adolescence and offered a colorful bundle of emotions and experience when it became a reality. No, do not get me wrong , it is not a 100% rosy and out of the world blessing always, it has its own share of grey areas too…only that I did not know this before I joined the club of “mothers”.
There was a time in my life when the idea of being a mother sounded more attractive than having a devoted soulmate. I nurtured a set of ideas of “things to do” when expecting a baby and another set of “things to do” being a mother. The ideas were as romantic as having a candlelight dinner with a loved one. Beware all aspiring mothers, becoming a mother and being a mother may not be that romantic every second of this heavenly bliss. It has the same probability of turning into “matter of fact” routine as the probability of having a “break all ties” argument with the loved one with whom you just had that romantic candlelight dinner!
I thought that having a 40+ inches waistline will make me proud, (it did for some time) but the fact that I could no longer see my toes was something I took more than three months to digest! Further still, it was complete nightmare after being blessed with the baby to know that I will never be able to attain the mark of 29inches again(from where I started off) no matter how many sit ups or pilates I practice or how many hours I run(walk;) on the treadmill ( I agree this all has improved my stamina though).
Everything from holding the baby so as not to jerk his tender neck, to stop myself from crying while that tiny creature cries, was a challenge. I never understood what the attending nurse told me –crying is the baby’s language, what else will he do??!! It was so simple for her..and still so tough for me to live with.
And then came those sleepless nights. Getting up every three hours to feed him when I would take at least half an hour to be able to go back to sleep again. I am still trying to stay sane with 4-5 hours of sleep a day since last almost 3 and 1/2 years. (I had two boys quite in succession).
I remember having gone for a business trip to Amsterdam and more than the possibility of going to Keukenhof or the red light district, I was excited by the fact that I would be able to sleep five entire nights without being required to get up and tap either of the boys back to sleep. The fact was, I could not sleep well even during those 5 nights, missing and remembering them most of the time; I was so so irritated with myself.
Yes, there are so many negatives and inconveniences associated with being a mother. If I try to list them, it will take at least 3-4 more blogs. But before I write them, I want to share one moment which I experienced today and which prompted me to relive the above and write this all..
It was Adi’s first class assembly today and I had received an invite hand written by him. When he saw me there sitting in the parent’s area, he smiled and flew a kiss to me. With the guidance from his teacher, along with rest of the students of his class, he started singing….he was singing at the top of his voice, one of his favorite songs, the same which he had been practicing with me everyday since almost two weeks, correcting me when ever “I” pronounced a word incorrectly. He sang and danced ..and all the while recording the entire event in the video cam, I was smiling…to the verge of crying. Oh God!! It was great, it was beautiful, it was amazing, it was overwhelming, it was happiness, it was contentment, it was beauty….
I loved the moment and thanked God for choosing me to be a mother.
There was a time in my life when the idea of being a mother sounded more attractive than having a devoted soulmate. I nurtured a set of ideas of “things to do” when expecting a baby and another set of “things to do” being a mother. The ideas were as romantic as having a candlelight dinner with a loved one. Beware all aspiring mothers, becoming a mother and being a mother may not be that romantic every second of this heavenly bliss. It has the same probability of turning into “matter of fact” routine as the probability of having a “break all ties” argument with the loved one with whom you just had that romantic candlelight dinner!
I thought that having a 40+ inches waistline will make me proud, (it did for some time) but the fact that I could no longer see my toes was something I took more than three months to digest! Further still, it was complete nightmare after being blessed with the baby to know that I will never be able to attain the mark of 29inches again(from where I started off) no matter how many sit ups or pilates I practice or how many hours I run(walk;) on the treadmill ( I agree this all has improved my stamina though).
Everything from holding the baby so as not to jerk his tender neck, to stop myself from crying while that tiny creature cries, was a challenge. I never understood what the attending nurse told me –crying is the baby’s language, what else will he do??!! It was so simple for her..and still so tough for me to live with.
And then came those sleepless nights. Getting up every three hours to feed him when I would take at least half an hour to be able to go back to sleep again. I am still trying to stay sane with 4-5 hours of sleep a day since last almost 3 and 1/2 years. (I had two boys quite in succession).
I remember having gone for a business trip to Amsterdam and more than the possibility of going to Keukenhof or the red light district, I was excited by the fact that I would be able to sleep five entire nights without being required to get up and tap either of the boys back to sleep. The fact was, I could not sleep well even during those 5 nights, missing and remembering them most of the time; I was so so irritated with myself.
Yes, there are so many negatives and inconveniences associated with being a mother. If I try to list them, it will take at least 3-4 more blogs. But before I write them, I want to share one moment which I experienced today and which prompted me to relive the above and write this all..
It was Adi’s first class assembly today and I had received an invite hand written by him. When he saw me there sitting in the parent’s area, he smiled and flew a kiss to me. With the guidance from his teacher, along with rest of the students of his class, he started singing….he was singing at the top of his voice, one of his favorite songs, the same which he had been practicing with me everyday since almost two weeks, correcting me when ever “I” pronounced a word incorrectly. He sang and danced ..and all the while recording the entire event in the video cam, I was smiling…to the verge of crying. Oh God!! It was great, it was beautiful, it was amazing, it was overwhelming, it was happiness, it was contentment, it was beauty….
I loved the moment and thanked God for choosing me to be a mother.
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
Image Management
Image management is a skill and a very valuable one. In most of the situations, battle is half won if you can project yourself properly or rather correctly or better still, in a politically correct manner. The strength of your character and the positives associated with it may constitute your core, but a huge percentage of it may just prove unproductive if you do not know how to position yourself. A negative image ruins substantially the chances you might have otherwise caught hold of.
Yes, this is what I thought runs in the big bad outside world. The insight now is that this image game does not leave even the finer relationships untouched. I cannot stand the treacherous plots of Ekta Kapoor’s soaps (though I do salute her for changing the face of Indian television) but do believe in the simplified essence of image/impression management. Like a movie star, it does not take very long to get labeled in your own circles and even worse, in the much closer relationships. The most frustrating aspect is not the fact that you get labeled, but to know that there is hardly anything you can do to get it off your back! The biggest reason being the convenience “others” enjoy while you continue with the baggage. Their own image management exercise gets a bit easier and simplified at your cost.
Fake it, if you think it is necessary to maintain a good picture for yourself. You never know, who will join the “big bad world’s brigade” next and make every attempt to scale off your self-confidence. Do not forget, we are part of the process of evolution…survival of the fittest!
Yes, this is what I thought runs in the big bad outside world. The insight now is that this image game does not leave even the finer relationships untouched. I cannot stand the treacherous plots of Ekta Kapoor’s soaps (though I do salute her for changing the face of Indian television) but do believe in the simplified essence of image/impression management. Like a movie star, it does not take very long to get labeled in your own circles and even worse, in the much closer relationships. The most frustrating aspect is not the fact that you get labeled, but to know that there is hardly anything you can do to get it off your back! The biggest reason being the convenience “others” enjoy while you continue with the baggage. Their own image management exercise gets a bit easier and simplified at your cost.
Fake it, if you think it is necessary to maintain a good picture for yourself. You never know, who will join the “big bad world’s brigade” next and make every attempt to scale off your self-confidence. Do not forget, we are part of the process of evolution…survival of the fittest!
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Happiness: elusive??!!
Happiness is a state of mind, or is it ? Really?
It is strange to realize but emotions do not follow mathematics in life. You may have a state of life defined by achievements and possessions and ceratin negatives of regrets; still the equation may not take you to absolute happiness. At least that is what I see as the state most of the people are in (or am I surrounded by highly intelligent people who have even higher expectations out of themselves!!??)
How do we judge if we are judging our capabilities and capacities correctly? How to manage our expectations from ourselves? Where does the line draw between pushing oneself to achieve one’s best and realizing that this is my zenith, I should relax a bit now?
Very few people would actually have a correct idea about where they stand and fewer still would accept it that way. More often than not we frame our scales of success while comparing what others have achieved in life…the most cruel thing we can do to ourselves.
A sense of urgency permeates through various layers and pumps in all the energy. But it is so ironical that even after expanding all that energy in pursuing the cherished goal, the sense of security never comes in. The path, the journey becomes so insignificant with respect to the goal, the later taking all the importance and spirit of life.
May be it is easier to preach all this if one turns into an absolute passion less sage kind of person as if has seen and heard and experienced all in life…or may be this all is uttered to hide the nadir of despair and grief , an effort for survival…
Whatever goes behind the scenes, the stage performances have to continue..so pull up and get ready..certain phases of “Everything is over” may be lived through, but they are not the sustainable state of lifeJ
It is strange to realize but emotions do not follow mathematics in life. You may have a state of life defined by achievements and possessions and ceratin negatives of regrets; still the equation may not take you to absolute happiness. At least that is what I see as the state most of the people are in (or am I surrounded by highly intelligent people who have even higher expectations out of themselves!!??)
How do we judge if we are judging our capabilities and capacities correctly? How to manage our expectations from ourselves? Where does the line draw between pushing oneself to achieve one’s best and realizing that this is my zenith, I should relax a bit now?
Very few people would actually have a correct idea about where they stand and fewer still would accept it that way. More often than not we frame our scales of success while comparing what others have achieved in life…the most cruel thing we can do to ourselves.
A sense of urgency permeates through various layers and pumps in all the energy. But it is so ironical that even after expanding all that energy in pursuing the cherished goal, the sense of security never comes in. The path, the journey becomes so insignificant with respect to the goal, the later taking all the importance and spirit of life.
May be it is easier to preach all this if one turns into an absolute passion less sage kind of person as if has seen and heard and experienced all in life…or may be this all is uttered to hide the nadir of despair and grief , an effort for survival…
Whatever goes behind the scenes, the stage performances have to continue..so pull up and get ready..certain phases of “Everything is over” may be lived through, but they are not the sustainable state of lifeJ
Sunday, 11 May 2008
Reading a story
Read a story by Guy De Maupassant yesterday night..The Inn. Marvelous description of beauty turning into utter despairs and fear…fear of being alone, the pain of loneliness..Sometimes I wonder at the capacity of these writers to feel the intensity of the characters created by them or rather the planned carving of the characters..their own creations. Thousands of words come out at length to bring out the tempest of emotions, the dichotomy of virtue and vice running parallel to each other within an individual, the labyrinth of thoughts and feelings..all turned into black and white letters. Following the flow which amasses the spread of these extensions takes to an entirely different world altogether..which is fiction and yet appears so real ..the power of simplicity in an author’s work…
In past few years I have read a whole lot of books, mostly classic literature though I cannot boast to have a memory strong enough to list down their names or the names of the characters within a story. I will be at loss if asked to describe the beauty of literature which they carry…it has just entered and settled within me.
In past few years I have read a whole lot of books, mostly classic literature though I cannot boast to have a memory strong enough to list down their names or the names of the characters within a story. I will be at loss if asked to describe the beauty of literature which they carry…it has just entered and settled within me.
Monday, 24 March 2008
Remembrance
The capacity and extent, the power and depth of human mind is miraculous and impressive. It is a huge storehouse of events, occurrences, emotions and information which get indexed appropriately at the time of action. Each happening has a place to belong to in the mansion of human mind. The moment you start digging the layers of memories, series and sequences open up-- to be remembered, to be relived.
Past in fact is no where yet the sheer fact that the impressions get imprinted on the canvas of mind and protected with something like a chemical wash for longer life makes it possible to relive and rejoice in the moments which have already passed.
Time gets embedded in the womb of existence nurturing on memories-- living and thriving to be retrieved later to create a virtual world . Just a trip down the memory lane and everything lights up!
Yes, there is nothing we can do about the past in terms of being able to change it or experiment more with life which has already been lived till this point. Yet its role in shaping us up as the person as we stand at this point cannot be denied. Time keeps running, its speed does not make any difference to the fact that every passing second, even the smallest fraction thereof is converting present into a bygone second. Yes, it slips away from the hands like smooth sand but in the process creates castles and structures building up the life that we have lived so far. This city of personal past exits within us with numerous residents in shape of various memories. Pick up your date for the day and relive it. It makes you feel fresh and young even if tainted with regrets at times…
"Zindagi laut kar wapas kabhi aayi nahi,
Hai ajab baat ki ek yaad murjhayi nahi”
Past in fact is no where yet the sheer fact that the impressions get imprinted on the canvas of mind and protected with something like a chemical wash for longer life makes it possible to relive and rejoice in the moments which have already passed.
Time gets embedded in the womb of existence nurturing on memories-- living and thriving to be retrieved later to create a virtual world . Just a trip down the memory lane and everything lights up!
Yes, there is nothing we can do about the past in terms of being able to change it or experiment more with life which has already been lived till this point. Yet its role in shaping us up as the person as we stand at this point cannot be denied. Time keeps running, its speed does not make any difference to the fact that every passing second, even the smallest fraction thereof is converting present into a bygone second. Yes, it slips away from the hands like smooth sand but in the process creates castles and structures building up the life that we have lived so far. This city of personal past exits within us with numerous residents in shape of various memories. Pick up your date for the day and relive it. It makes you feel fresh and young even if tainted with regrets at times…
"Zindagi laut kar wapas kabhi aayi nahi,
Hai ajab baat ki ek yaad murjhayi nahi”
Sunday, 16 March 2008
Acceptance
Acceptance is an important word ..if you try to fathom the depth and meaning associated with it. The environment surrounding us seems to be a game of performance and acceptance all over. Our own performance and our acceptance thereof, our own performance and its others’ acceptance, others’ performance and our acceptance thereof…acceptance is an important word. The never ending loop of accepting yourself and accepting others, as you are, as they are!
It is so easy to come across so many situations where every thing could just settle peacefully if you “accept” the things the way they are. One truth lies beneath everything, that happenings are beyond personal control. Here too, what is required is an acceptance of what you get in return of what you do. Be it a situation and/or people, the seemingly tough riddle of life suddenly gets solved : just incorporate acceptance..
Have a look below:
Accept that what you did in life was all you could do, accept that way you are trying to plan your future is the best possible strategic design to carve out your future, accept that you are the only available decision maker for your self, accept that you are the best decision maker for your self, accept that whatever you did at one point in time, was the best thing to do at that point in time, accept that what ever set of people you have around is the best you could get, accept that there are certain relationships available but would never be of the kind you are looking for, accept that there is a nagging feeling of loneliness which is there to stay, accept that dreams are meant to be shattered 98% of the times, accept that the remaining 2 % would give you all the satisfaction possible in life, accept that reality has the potential of scaring you, accept that there is a limit to endure pain, accept that beyond that it brings a numbness which is worse than pain, accept that there is always a possibility to feel good about everything around you, accept that you just have to accept to feel better about everything around you, accept that whatever happens- happens for good , accept that what ever happened-happened for good, accept that even if you don’t feel that way, it will hardly make any difference, accept that men and women are two different species even at the psychological level and they think and act differently, accept that 9 out of 10 times husbands would not put a crying baby to sleep, accept that kids do not grow up overnight, it takes years, each year consisting of 365 days, and each day in turn of 24 hours, accept that the battery of various remotes finishes off earlier than expected, accept that more the number of gadgets you have access to, more is the probability that one or two of them would be in a need of repairs, accept that the list to do never meets an end, accept that whatever advise you offer to your dearest siblings or friends, they will never learn from your mistakes, they will learn from their own, accept that lost opportunities are lost for ever, accept that time never moves in reverse gear, accept that you are the best person to pamper your self, accept that you should be the one to remember yourself at all times, accept that being good to others may bring the good ness back to you, even if from other sources, accept that keeping hope doesn’t do any harm, accept that miracles do happen, accept that there are no miracles in life , accept that life is unpredictable, accept that you may spend a life time and may never understand either yourself or the person who is one with whom you have spent your life with, ….accept that the list goes on and on…accept that whether you accept or not---life goes on…
It is so easy to come across so many situations where every thing could just settle peacefully if you “accept” the things the way they are. One truth lies beneath everything, that happenings are beyond personal control. Here too, what is required is an acceptance of what you get in return of what you do. Be it a situation and/or people, the seemingly tough riddle of life suddenly gets solved : just incorporate acceptance..
Have a look below:
Accept that what you did in life was all you could do, accept that way you are trying to plan your future is the best possible strategic design to carve out your future, accept that you are the only available decision maker for your self, accept that you are the best decision maker for your self, accept that whatever you did at one point in time, was the best thing to do at that point in time, accept that what ever set of people you have around is the best you could get, accept that there are certain relationships available but would never be of the kind you are looking for, accept that there is a nagging feeling of loneliness which is there to stay, accept that dreams are meant to be shattered 98% of the times, accept that the remaining 2 % would give you all the satisfaction possible in life, accept that reality has the potential of scaring you, accept that there is a limit to endure pain, accept that beyond that it brings a numbness which is worse than pain, accept that there is always a possibility to feel good about everything around you, accept that you just have to accept to feel better about everything around you, accept that whatever happens- happens for good , accept that what ever happened-happened for good, accept that even if you don’t feel that way, it will hardly make any difference, accept that men and women are two different species even at the psychological level and they think and act differently, accept that 9 out of 10 times husbands would not put a crying baby to sleep, accept that kids do not grow up overnight, it takes years, each year consisting of 365 days, and each day in turn of 24 hours, accept that the battery of various remotes finishes off earlier than expected, accept that more the number of gadgets you have access to, more is the probability that one or two of them would be in a need of repairs, accept that the list to do never meets an end, accept that whatever advise you offer to your dearest siblings or friends, they will never learn from your mistakes, they will learn from their own, accept that lost opportunities are lost for ever, accept that time never moves in reverse gear, accept that you are the best person to pamper your self, accept that you should be the one to remember yourself at all times, accept that being good to others may bring the good ness back to you, even if from other sources, accept that keeping hope doesn’t do any harm, accept that miracles do happen, accept that there are no miracles in life , accept that life is unpredictable, accept that you may spend a life time and may never understand either yourself or the person who is one with whom you have spent your life with, ….accept that the list goes on and on…accept that whether you accept or not---life goes on…
Monday, 3 March 2008
Failure
Handling failure is probably one of the toughest circumstances in life, but do we ever plan for it?
The desire to succeed gives impetus to all faculties of the human existence, bringing out better than the best, leading to out performance. Even while nothing can be done to control the result, it is the faith on our abilities and hope to succeed, which initiates the whole cycle.
Uncertainty is the continuous state of life; still we keep faith in existence, very much echoed in the "going concern" premise in Accounting. While living the day-to-day life, this uncertainty is actually ignored and attempts are made in the direction of the cherished goals believing that things are going to stay and turn out the way we want them to be.
But what happens when things do not turn out the way we dreamt and strived for? Even while there is an all-pervasive realization that "it" may go wrong, do we ever prepare ourselves to face failure?
For some people, the way to manage failure is to keep telling themselves that things would go wrong and secretly hoping that they turn out as desired. Restraining one self from feeling excited or happy about the possibility of a dream coming true. If the things go wrong one would not look ridiculous to one self or anyone else. Rather, one can claim, “see, I knew it wont happen.”
There might be another set of people who reason that preparing ourselves to face failure is equivalent to giving up hope to succeed.
I experience a pattern in chasing my dreams. A dream is born and cherished. Efforts are made to make it a reality. The efforts are honest and sincere and marked with perseverance but it is always difficult to hold on to the suspense of…RESULT.
While talking about this feature, I now got to understand why I cannot handle watching India-Pak cricket match where only few balls are left to decide the fate of the match. The suspense coupled with the desire to win is too much to handle. In contrast, it is relatively comfortable to watch through a match that is extremely lop-sided and the result is predictable. I may quit it in between, but because of boredom, not because excitement is too much to take!
These days I am the source of most of the information and knowledge for my kids. While shouldering the responsibility of grooming them to believe in themselves, I am finding an interesting difference between them with respect to acceptance for failure. My boys are aged 3.5 and 2 years. They both like to play with blocks and construct the tallest structures in the world. If ever the set of blocks they were working on falls on ground, the elder one gets too upset and frustrated resulting in anger and crying at climax while the younger one just echoes an, “oh ho”. Yet another difference is that the frustrated guy picks up the blocks crying all the time and starts over again. On the contrary, the younger one looses interest most of the times.
Possibly, the more you are hooked to your goal, higher is the incapacity to handle failure.
Failure is part of life as much as success is. While the attitude should be to look forward and work for your dreams, there should be an acceptance for failure too, if that happens to be your share. It might be easier said than done, but has the potential to increase the happiness and satisfaction quotient in life:)
The desire to succeed gives impetus to all faculties of the human existence, bringing out better than the best, leading to out performance. Even while nothing can be done to control the result, it is the faith on our abilities and hope to succeed, which initiates the whole cycle.
Uncertainty is the continuous state of life; still we keep faith in existence, very much echoed in the "going concern" premise in Accounting. While living the day-to-day life, this uncertainty is actually ignored and attempts are made in the direction of the cherished goals believing that things are going to stay and turn out the way we want them to be.
But what happens when things do not turn out the way we dreamt and strived for? Even while there is an all-pervasive realization that "it" may go wrong, do we ever prepare ourselves to face failure?
For some people, the way to manage failure is to keep telling themselves that things would go wrong and secretly hoping that they turn out as desired. Restraining one self from feeling excited or happy about the possibility of a dream coming true. If the things go wrong one would not look ridiculous to one self or anyone else. Rather, one can claim, “see, I knew it wont happen.”
There might be another set of people who reason that preparing ourselves to face failure is equivalent to giving up hope to succeed.
I experience a pattern in chasing my dreams. A dream is born and cherished. Efforts are made to make it a reality. The efforts are honest and sincere and marked with perseverance but it is always difficult to hold on to the suspense of…RESULT.
While talking about this feature, I now got to understand why I cannot handle watching India-Pak cricket match where only few balls are left to decide the fate of the match. The suspense coupled with the desire to win is too much to handle. In contrast, it is relatively comfortable to watch through a match that is extremely lop-sided and the result is predictable. I may quit it in between, but because of boredom, not because excitement is too much to take!
These days I am the source of most of the information and knowledge for my kids. While shouldering the responsibility of grooming them to believe in themselves, I am finding an interesting difference between them with respect to acceptance for failure. My boys are aged 3.5 and 2 years. They both like to play with blocks and construct the tallest structures in the world. If ever the set of blocks they were working on falls on ground, the elder one gets too upset and frustrated resulting in anger and crying at climax while the younger one just echoes an, “oh ho”. Yet another difference is that the frustrated guy picks up the blocks crying all the time and starts over again. On the contrary, the younger one looses interest most of the times.
Possibly, the more you are hooked to your goal, higher is the incapacity to handle failure.
Failure is part of life as much as success is. While the attitude should be to look forward and work for your dreams, there should be an acceptance for failure too, if that happens to be your share. It might be easier said than done, but has the potential to increase the happiness and satisfaction quotient in life:)
Thursday, 21 February 2008
Perception
Valentines just passed by and on top of the discussion board with all friends were "flowers". In spite of the fact that I would have come accross numerous views with respect to this "percieved" symbol of love, yet it is so easy to reach the nutshell. For all guys,
"spending money on flowers!!! why on earth am I expected to do it!!?? and for all gals,
"only if he knew how much "they" matter to me..."
If I try to think about how many times I have receieved flowers (valentines or otherwise) without pressurizing the guy most expected to bring them...(nope, never)...though I am sure I would have behaved as if the idea whole heartedly belonged to the victim.(Ah, how much I am in love with idea of flowers representing the zenith of love and care and all those sweet , tender emotions that harbour in a feminine heart!)
Two most memorable bouquets I have received till now were both presented to me as a shield behind which the prince charming in question wanted to practically hide and say sorry. To make matters worse I knew all the time that behind the same shield he might be pulling his hair off-- why on earth I am expected to do it!!??
Never the less, the perception of romance as associated with flowers is never going to die(atleast with in me). Though I had laughed at the character of "Maya" buying flowers (and a lot of other stuff) for "herself" in "Dil To Pagal Hai"... at a closer look , idea does not seem to be that bad:)
Saturday, 19 January 2008
Freedom!
Most of my life I have followed a simple principle, put in your best effort in what ever you do, and success will follow . Success in my dictionary means the contentment of trial and honesty of efforts. What follows is immaterial.
I have always considered myself as a very planned person, considered time management as key to multitasking and yet today when I started writing on this spot, it was truly impulsive!
It is almost midnight and for a change even my 2 years old has gone off to sleep. The ususal routine is to talk to Dhruv, decipher his language and understand what is he communicating. The twin job is very demanding at times and yet the pleasure received is immeasurable. Although, the whole exercise is truly aimed at somehow convincing him that now the dramatized version of all what we have been discussing would be much more interesting. So dear, please go off to sleep and watch it all in your dreams!
Today he is off to sleep early and I have no alternative committments for this time spot other than reading the book which I started off nearly a week ago and have managed to read only 42 pages till now. Somehow, did not feel like going back to it. Friends in India are offline for chat, it is obviously late for them . For local friends, tomorrow is a working day so the best thing is to have a good night sleep at this hour of the night.
Suddenly I realised, I have "time" and I have nothing to do in this time!!! What a great feeling in itself! First, is the heavenly realisation of having time (what if I bunked today's session of work out, that can't be expected now at this hour anyway!) and second is the freedom to do something which is just not there in the time table already!!
Soon another realisation started dawning upon me--Planning and time management...I am feeling free when these two are just not there!
I have always considered myself as a very planned person, considered time management as key to multitasking and yet today when I started writing on this spot, it was truly impulsive!
It is almost midnight and for a change even my 2 years old has gone off to sleep. The ususal routine is to talk to Dhruv, decipher his language and understand what is he communicating. The twin job is very demanding at times and yet the pleasure received is immeasurable. Although, the whole exercise is truly aimed at somehow convincing him that now the dramatized version of all what we have been discussing would be much more interesting. So dear, please go off to sleep and watch it all in your dreams!
Today he is off to sleep early and I have no alternative committments for this time spot other than reading the book which I started off nearly a week ago and have managed to read only 42 pages till now. Somehow, did not feel like going back to it. Friends in India are offline for chat, it is obviously late for them . For local friends, tomorrow is a working day so the best thing is to have a good night sleep at this hour of the night.
Suddenly I realised, I have "time" and I have nothing to do in this time!!! What a great feeling in itself! First, is the heavenly realisation of having time (what if I bunked today's session of work out, that can't be expected now at this hour anyway!) and second is the freedom to do something which is just not there in the time table already!!
Soon another realisation started dawning upon me--Planning and time management...I am feeling free when these two are just not there!
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