I quit: temporarily i hope

And so a chapter seems to be over. The chase to follow dreams about self, the stubbornness to reach out to my capacities..
Aren’t these the values which many of us grow up with, atleast these are the values which I grew up with. Letting myself rust is the worst thing I can do to myself. But at this stage I guess I need to weigh what activities would qualify as keeping me from getting rusted other then challenging mental capacities in the commercial world.
Aspirations and willingness to work hard and work smartly for it, it is surprisingly not enough sometimes. At times there are seemingly more important things then nurturing your own self. Prioritizing for others.. may be this is too an extension of my own nourishment.
Even after being socially and materially successful, still find myself clutched in the idea of “productive engagements” rather than pure enjoyable hobbies. May still find it hard to resist at this stage and this age.
Ahh, this all internal dialogue needs to be put at rest till next innings hit. Need to stay at peace with the fact: officially unemployed out of own willingnessJ

Faasla

Manzilon aur raasto ki haqeeqat
musafiron se badkar kahan hoti hai

jo chalte rehne ki zidd ho
khwaab haqeeaqt bante rehte hain
aur jo na ho to
haqeeqat khawaab ki manind pighalkar doob jaati hai

ye farq, ye faasla kisi mod se nahi aata
mere ander chupkar baitha hai

haan mod aaye to, acchanak saamne zaroor aa jata hai.

kitni hi baar pata hi nahi hota
ander kya kya chup kar baitha hai..

dard hai ya dard dene ki aarzoo
musafir ki neeyat hi sahi
pata kahan chalti hai...